For the last several months I have felt an overwhelming need and desire to be with my children more than just our normal time together. I have ached to spend more time with them and it has really hit me, especially with Gavin, that my days with them are numbered. Next year Gavin will be in Kindergarten and I will only have half a day with him. I don't even see Cortlynd some days before nearly 5:oo p.m. and Hunter and Graham are also always on the go. Where has all the time gone? I had heard this before but I have never felt it or understood it so strongly. I struggle with finding things that everyone wants to do or even will be willing to do together now that we have both older and younger kids. Some days I just wish we could live on a remote island somewhere, where the only thing we could do was to work and play together as a family in order to survive. I long for a simpler life.
This school year I have recognized the inspiration from my Heavenly Father to really spend time playing with Gavin for hours and letting go of all the things that I thought I had to get done first (they will always be there) before I could "have fun." I treasure this time with him but feel sad that I didn't do this more especially with Graham and even with Hunter. I am grateful that there is still time and I take each moment that I can to spend with each of my children! I loved what President Monson said in his talk "Finding Joy in the Journey" in this last General Conference. It was everything I had been feeling and trying to emulate. These are some of my favorite things he said:
"Day by day, minute by minute, second by second we went from where we were to where we are now. The lives of all of us, of course, go through similar alterations and changes. The difference between the changes in my life and the changes in yours is only in the details. Time never stands still; it must steadily march on, and with the marching come the changes. This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and non-existent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.
If you have children who are grown and gone, in all likelihood you have occasionally felt pangs of loss and the recognition that you didn’t appreciate that time of life as much as you should have. Of course, there is no going back, but only forward. Rather than dwelling on the past, we should make the most of today, of the here and now, doing all we can to provide pleasant memories for the future.
If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly. (I loved this and it has stuck with me.)
Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us.
Send that note to the friend you’ve been neglecting; give your child a hug; give your parents a hug; say “I love you” more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It’s so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they’re gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of “what if” and “if only.” Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.”4
Despite the changes which come into our lives and with gratitude in our hearts, may we fill our days—as much as we can—with those things which matter most. May we cherish those we hold dear and express our love to them in word and in deed.
Brothers and sisters, my sincere prayer is that we may adapt to the changes in our lives, that we may realize what is most important, that we may express our gratitude always and thus find joy in the journey. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."
Take the time to read his whole talk again it is so eloquent and uplifting!
http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-947-26,00.html
Yesterday I heard that Lindsay Sandstrom who was one of my young women in our ward from Highland, passed away on Oct. 24, 2008 from a terrible car accident. I was in shock to think that this beautiful bubbly beehive (as I remember her) had past from this mortal existence at the tender age of 16. She and her older sister Kaylee were such great examples and I loved knowing them and being apart of their lives for the short time I lived there. http://jaredandjocelynsallee.blogspot.com/2008/10/lindsays-obituary.htmlI recently heard a new song from Hilary Weeks. It reminds us that each day is important, and to spend each day doing what matters most with those we love.
We never know what each day will bring, time will be gone before we are ready. Hold your children a little tighter, laugh a little longer, be thankful for your blessings, love more and complain less.
"If I Only Had Today"
It seems like I've watched a million sunsets
And stared at a thousand full moonsSometimes it feels like I've been here forever
And sometimes it all feels brand new
I could never count the heartbeats
From the day I was born until now
But not a single one goes unnoticed
By Him who breathes life in me somehow.
But if there were no more tomorrows
If I knew that I could not stay
I know how I'd spend every moment
If I only had today.
I'd hold you and listen
And I'd let the dishes sit in the sink
I'd tell you I loved you over and over
And for once I'd just let the phone ring
Then I'd remind you of forever
And how our love would never change
If I only had today.
I'd wake up before the sun did
And I'd watch as you quietly sleep
I'd pray for time to move slowly
Knowing the moment won't keep
All the gifts that Heaven has given
Every blessing that's come my way
Wouldn't mean anything without you
So if I only had today.
I'd hold you and listen
I'd memorize every detail of your face
I'd tell you I loved you over and over
I wouldn't let excuses get in the way
Then I'd remind you of forever
And how our love would never change
If I only had today.
There's no time like the present
Life doesn't come with any guarantees
The sun will set and time won't wait.
So while I have today
I'll hold you and listen
I'll let the dishes sit in the sink
I'll tell you I love you over and over
For once I'll just let the phone ring.
And I'll remind you of forever
And how our love will never change
Because I have today
I think this one was posed but it looks as if I'm being choked.
We got two fun filled days out of our snowfall. Today we built a huge snowman that my neighbors son had to help me lift the middle piece up on the base because it was so heavy but we ran out of time finishing the snowman with a face etc. so I never took the final picture. I just thought it was cute because Gavin had a hard time pushing the ball of snow when it got so big. 
